Last time I saw Sandy, I was at her apartment meeting her new interest. He was a clean cut country boy from Versailles, Kentucky and talked a lot about nothing no matter how uninterested everyone in the room seemed to be. Sandy’s roommate, Saundra, expressed how much she disliked the new interest. I could not disagree with her but made an argument that he had been drinking a lot of whiskey and perhaps that intensified his personality to annoying.
We both warned Sandy to not fuck him that night for fear of whiskey-dick.
Well, she did. And apparently it was good sex. With one minor draw-back. He said the ‘L’ word.
“This was your first time sleeping with him right?” I asked her.
“Ya, this was only our first real time hanging out besides the night we met. I knew he liked me a lot. So, before we did anything I sat him down and told him not to expect anything and that I just got out of a bad relationship and I’m not looking for one right now. Then he told me he loved me while we were having sex.” To clarify, Sandy did get out of a bad relationship, but that was a year ago. And she wasn’t looking for a relationship, at least not with him. Out of disgust and horror, I told her to dump him. Anyone that throws around the ‘L’ word like that doesn’t have any respect for it’s true meaning (whatever that is).
The next day I saw my interest, WXL. I was ill. And convinced I caught whatever he had the couple days prior. We were at his buddy’s house watching a cheesy horror flick. All along while I was teasing WXL, telling him we cannot kiss since he made me sick.
“You can’t just cut out kissing. There’s so much to a kiss.” He obviously was opposed to a non-kissing relationship.
And as if on que, the movie cut to a making-out scene.
“You see. It’s not by chance that people kiss on the lips, it’s perhaps, one of the most erogenous zones on the human body. And all the feeling that goes into a kiss…”
“Feeling? What is this feeling of which you speak of? What should I be feeling?” I loved playing the cold-hearted one.
“I can’t tell you what you should be feeling”
“Then tell me what you feel”. I was looking for something erotic, like kissing me made a tingling feeling shoot down his spine to his shaft.
“Well, I love you”.
“Huh?” I wasn’t sure I heard him correctly.
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