Commitment Phobe

I have never fully committed to anything.

I've never put the time or effort into my school work. I've never been dedicated to any job. I've never entrusted myself with anything and I've never put in 110%.

And now, I look over at the $2 intended for the investment in a key for Him which has now been sitting on the table for about a week... and I think "is there a reason he doesn't have my house key"?

I could have just forgotten.

But, trained in psychology, I know better. Even our inattention has meaning, the brain forgets for a reason.

My history falls short at this point in a relationship. My Men before had never had a key to my house, not the first (3+ year relationship), and not the last (3+year relationship). 

I've been committed, whole-heartedly to my current relationship (granted, this was an adjustment in itself). So,  Why am I reluctant to give this Man a key, who, mind you, has been practically living with me for the past 6 months?

Commitment phobia? Or just lazy?

I choose the latter. I'm off to get a key made.